Perseverance

I am up early this morning because I could not sleep. I did not meet my business and personal goal last night and it is eating at me. I have had to dig deep this morning and ask myself again, “what are you going to do?” You know, I have been walking around in fear for the longest time, hiding my heart from the world and even my face from some of my loved ones. I have been walking around ashamed for a failed marriage, ashamed that I am barely making ends meet, ashamed that my children are struggling and that I am struggling to homeschool them….ashamed that I feel that I am so different and this means some how that I am a failure. Well, this is me standing up and fighting back! I am learning that one of the greatest characteristics we can nurture is the ability to persevere. I believe that perseverance is the key to success. No one is perfect and every one is different. The only thing that matters is if you are picking yourself up each day and striving to do a little bit better than the next and that you keep working towards your goals….your dreams. I have a dream, I have many dreams, in fact, some that I’m sure others would say I am crazy and can’t achieve them. I say watch me, because I have learned time and time again that if I am willing to continue to move forward and that I invite the Lord to help me, anything is possible. It is possible because of those 2 factors….God’s Power and the ability to persevere. And I am grateful that God has blessed me with the ability to persevere, He has given it to all of us. No matter what your situation or circumstance, no matter what obstacles you come up against….keep moving forward towards your dreams and always have a brightness of hope in God. perseverance1

Gratitude

Lately I have been reminded over and over the power in gratitude. I’ve definitely seen some dark days and challenges seem to be a constant, especially as of late…. being separated from my husband, doing the single mom thing, moving to a new area, balancing between work and kids….nothing that others cannot relate too. Yet over and over, I see that we have the power to shift a seemingly negative situation into a positive, by simply choosing gratitude.
I was profoundly reminded of this just last week, when I found myself sobbing, as I was driving a long way back home, and had to pull to the side of the road so that I could see and regain some composure. I had been wrestling with a big decision that day and felt so much confusion and hopelessness that I just couldn’t take it anymore. As I sat in my car on the side of the road, i began to plead with God through my sobbing. A few minutes later, I was shocked to see a stranger standing outside my car, at my window, knocking. I rolled down my window, and listened as this young gentleman proceeded to tell me that he had passed by 2 previous cars in need that day and had asked the Lord if he should stop, at which the impressions were “no”, but that when he came upon my car, he felt deeply impressed that he should and that he should share an article with me. To my unbelief it was a talk from Elder Uchtdorf entitled “Grateful in Any Circumstances.” This young man proceeded to tell me that the Lord wanted me to know that He is so aware of me and my circumstances and that all would be well. I sobbed again, thanked him, and he returned to his car.
What I have since come to realize is that God was hearing my cries that day, but I really couldn’t see the blessings or hear the answers until I began to acknowledge and show gratitude for the many blessings I had received already. As I have begun to choose gratitude, I have been humbled as my eyes have been open to the reality of my life.  I am blessed with 4 beautiful children, and they have a father who loves them and strives to take good care of them, and strives to keep a friendship with me. I have so many loving friends and with each new friend  the circle just keeps expanding.  The work I  get to do blesses others in profound ways.  I get to work with friends that are like family and I get to work from home! I am blessed with health, which I did not have, even just a year ago.  I feel closer to my God then ever and see His hand in my life daily.  I have food, water, shelter and love.  I am extremely well taken care of… Gratitude is like magic, it completely changes the way we look and feel about our life situations. Gratitude carries with it the energy of hope, healing and peace. It is a powerful tool against lies and deception. It is a tool that empowers us in any circumstance!  Here is my invitation to you, my friends,….. cultivate an attitude of gratitude!  For sure, I’m trying. God Bless us all in our efforts!gratitude

Living Dead

So many of us are walking around and not truly living, we have become complacent, controlled by fear and hopelessness. Our hearts have become disconnected and our compassion for ourselves and others is waning. Why does this happen and how can we wake up and change the way we live? I believe so much of this is happening because we have given up….given up on faith, given up on love and given up on God. Why? Because it is easier to succumb to pressures of fear, laziness, hopelessness, numbness, than it is to fight for faith and love. What has happened to the spirit of people? Why do we give up our gift of freedom to choose so easily and become mindless? This post that I am writing today is a call to action. I’m calling you to rise up and stand up for yourself and your loved ones. Don’t let fear, hopelessness, pride, depression…. rule your life and stand in your way any longer. Rise up! Call on the God, who is your Creator and your Father, and who loves you beyond measure, to give you strength to rise up within yourself. Face your fear today and walk thru it to the other side, reach out to the one that you feel the most hurt from. Be a victim no longer! Stand in the power that God has given you to choose, be free! Make a choice today to live! No longer walk around dead, get on your knees, dig deep, and make the change. You will be blessed with strength and support, you will have people come into your life to help you. Walk in faith and love and receive the blessings that come from this change. I want to hear what one thing you did differently today…what 1 thing did you change and stand strong in? Let’s support each other. Have a blessed day!

Self Care

As I have been struggling with my desire and ability to take care of myself, to take charge, to choose my life, to put down boundaries, to establish healthy patterns….I have become very aware that so many of us are walking around allowing life to just happen to us. Allowing others to decide for us and or work out their desires on us. Why are we so afraid to claim our lives, to take responsibility for ourselves and our choices? Why do we feel the need to continually punish ourselves for poor choices we have made or to let fear of failure and rejection rule us? We are very powerful beings, yet we continue to walk around in fear and let it rule us. Part of the Answer is found in calling upon the Savior of this world….if we will come unto the Lord and place our burdens at His feet, our fears, our self loathing, our worry He will take it upon him….He already has, and He will heal us and set us free from fear so that we can stand in the power of action.

When Christ was in the Garden of Gethsemane, out of Love, He took upon himself the pain and suffering of the world, He allowed himself to be put in a place to feel and to learn and to understand all of our pain so that He could walk with us through ours and save us from the torment that comes when we give up our freedom to act and allow ourselves to be acted upon. He then willingly gave Himself as a sacrifice on our behalf to satisfy the demands of justice, and to be the voice of mercy on our behalf, so that our choices could become a way of learning. He knew that there was no way that we could bear the full burden and consequences of our own sins and choices. That we would need a way to be set free from our own faulty thinking, from our own dysfunctional pattern of behaving, that we would need a way to return back to love and truth and be free to choose to act in our lives.

My call to myself and to others is to STAND UP! Claim your life and the power that is yours to choose life. Don’t allow yourself to be controlled by others judgements and desires, don’t allow yourself to become a prisoner to the lie that you cannot change, don’t allow yourself to play out your role that someone else has placed on you, don’t allow yourself to be controlled by fear, choose to take control of your life! Choose to take responsibility for where you are and where you are going….one step at a time. Choose to allow the mighty saving grace of the Savior of this world, to love you thru this, to help you change what you need to change so that you can be free from fear, from shame, from hopelessness, from envy, from anger, from hate….so you can be free to truly choose your life.  Choose to be free, choose to act for yourself, stand in your right and power to do this….CHOOSE your Life.

Reaching Out

Some of us, when we go thru challenging experiences, pull inward and shut everyone out, and some of us reach out and let others in to help.  I am one who tends to pull in and shut others out because I feel such shame for feelings of anger, hurt, hopelessness. I feel shame if I am not handling the challenge with positiveness and forgiveness and if I am not able to function normally from day to day. I feel guilty if I feel the need to heavily rely on others and for the inability to hold it together at times. but I realize I also feel so unloveable and unworthy of love, feelings that are rooted from my experiences as a child, especially those of sexual abuse and actions that extended from those. It is thru the recent experience of going through a difficult seperation in my marriage  that I realize the healing is in not bearing the burden alone, the healing is in asking others to bear it with you, to help you carry the load, to allow their love to sustain you. I have come to realize that love in all it’s many forms and actions is where the power to move forward comes, because in love, their is healing and when we begin to heal we become more powerful in being able to love others unconditionally.

As I was crying out to God the other night and asking him to help me through the pain and release the fear and pain from every part of my body, I realize so much of the pain came from me believing that I was not loveable, not worthy of love. I realize it is the reason why I was shutting people out and why I was beginning to feel so hopeless and lost. I realized I have been punishing myself  for parts of the painful process of this seperation, I have not been allowing God’s love to heal me, nor allowing his love thru others to sustain and uphold me. When I woke up this morning, I felt a deep longing to be around friends and loved ones to be a part of something.

It is thru the giving and receiving of love that we heal.  It is pure love that empowers us to overcome our fears. And it is the fear of not being loved, of being rejected that we hide.  I realize part of my learning right now, part of my uphill climb is to allow love back into my life, to open myself up for love, to release and give to God the old untrue beliefs that I am not loveable, to push against that, to challenge that very thought and to accept the fact that not only am I loveable in my worst of times but that I am WORTHY of LOVE. So today, I am going to reach out and make that phone call to my friend and my sister, I’m going to focus on  loving and enjoying my children, and allowing myself to love and be loved in return.  And thank God for another day to learn and love and overcome.

 

Love

The Power of Love

I believe that most of us have witnessed the power of God’s love in our life, I know of no other way it is manifest more strongly than in the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ.  I have spent many weeks pondering on this great act of love and service on our behalf, and have spent days and nights on my knees asking for the power in the Atonement to help me daily overcome my weaknesses. I have been impressed with thoughts and idea’s that have changed the way I go about doing things.

This what I have come to understand so far:

When Christ’s Atonement was made it opened up a portal, a way for us to access the powers of heaven to assist us on our earthly life journey.  Because Christ, willingly turned his life over to be crucified, out of love for us, when we align ourselves with him, by obedience to his commandments, we have access to that same power that enabled him to endure and overcome…God’s infinite and eternal love.  The power in the atonement is pure love. We become at one with light, truth, spirit and power when we access Christ’s love to cleanse us and guide us and set us free. The act of the atonement allows us access to that love and power and God’s knowledge, through the Savior. We literally get to be yoked, or have companionship with Christ because of the atonement and we become able to have heaven’s divine help.  The Atonement is love in it’s purest form; the power of the atonement is God’s power, which is Love.

LOVE is Power.  LOVE is SPIRIT.  Love Heals all.

How do you access and use the power of the Atonement in your life?

Focus

I’ve heard the phrase many times “what you focus on, you create”.  I had an interesting experience yesterday with my children….they were just plain awful in their behavior. After they had gone to bed, I sat in my bed and cried because I had spent the night yelling and threatening. They went to bed hurt and I went to bed angry. Now, most parents will say, been there, done that….it’s part of parenthood. I agree, but what is disturbing to me is the thoughts that had been playing on my mind that day that I was not consciously aware of, and that I see now, had a huge impact on my behavior as well as my children’s.
I realize I had been focusing on the lack of money, the inability to pay certain bills at the moment, my desire to pay for lessons for my children, but struggling to decide which ones, then feeling guilty for not being able to do more. Then, my thoughts moved into…”you are such a bad mom, your children are so neglected, they’re not going to grow up to amount to much because you haven’t given them all these opportunities….” What!? If what we focus on becomes our reality and every thought has energy that can be felt and passed on….then no wonder last night was so awful.  I was just creating the reality ” I am a bad mom” and “my children are neglected” and my children were just literally tuning in to that negative energy and reacting.

I know to some that this may seem completely off and cuckoo….but for me it makes sense.  The days that I am calm and positive in my mind and heart, my children are also.  We are powerful beings and everything we think and say has energy and effects us and those around us.  So my encouragement is….stay focused on the positive, speak with the power of love and conviction and stay consciously aware of what is playing on the stage of your mind!  When you begin to recognize that you are letting your mind run rampant with negative thoughts,  say STOP.  Begin to say what you are grateful for and let yourself FEEL gratitude for those things.  Gratitude is powerful positive energy and can change things quickly.  Thinking and saying positive affirmations is another way to keep your mind focused on the positive.  I’ve noticed the more I focus on what’s going well, what I am grateful for and take the time to talk positive to myself, the more at peace I am and the more able I am to create calm in my mind and my life, and that feels GREAT!

What do you do to keep your mind focused on the positive?

In the Uphill Climb

As I reflect today on the past couple of weeks and as I have been asked to pass thru some difficult challenges at this time, these are the thoughts that have rested upon me:

It is in the midst of our greatest trials and struggles that the potential for higher learning is great. If we will but turn to our Lord and humble ourselves before him, and plead for his guidance…we will be taught, tutored and comforted. These are the teaching grounds of life and when we choose to learn from the challenge and let the pain teach us, we will be blessed with understandings beyond our own comprehension. In this, the challenging times are a gift and a literal preparation for us to reach higher and be taught and tutored by the Lord in a no other way then when we are humbled and on our knees searching for the answers. It is in the hunger for relief, the hunger to understand, the hunger to be comforted, that we are then fed…. because we are ready and we need it and we will know what to do with it. In this, I am thankful for an all loving and merciful Father who has set the path, the way, and lovingly allows the experiences that we need for us to grow in stature and in true happiness, by allowing these challenges to come time and time again.

If you have ever wondered if there is a God who loves you, if you have a purpose in this life, or why life seems like an uphill journey for you most of the time…..let me just bear witness that there is a God, who is LOVE and loves all and if your life is an uphill battle, it is a manifestation of His love for you. He has a message for you, He sees your greatness and is calling it out, He is calling you out….to come to Him. Come and kneel at His feet, cry out to Him and learn from Him. Let him teach you and love on you and heal you. Then stand tall and keep moving forward and share the love and lessons with others.

Personal Power

The other day I found myself driving down the highway, listening to Alanis Morsette and crying!  As I listened, the words struck me to the very core:

That I would be good even if I did nothing,
That I would be good even if i got the thumbs down,
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick,
that I would be good even if i gained ten pounds….

that i would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that i would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that i would be grand if I was not all knowing….

I painfully realized that somewhere along my life journey I picked up on the lie that who I am is  not good enough.  Not only did I let that lie sit in my mind, but I took it into my heart and believed it to be true.  I have been spending years playing that out and pushing myself beyond exhaustion to prove that I AM good enough.   I have wasted so much time and energy aligning myself with others expectations, judgements and limitations. I have been consumed with concern of how my actions look to other people and striving to please others so that I could have the reward of recognition and feeling good enough.  The sad thing is….there has been no change or reward, only the continued feelings of  worthlessness, hurt and shame.  I’ve gone the other way also and  have played it small so I wouldn’t make others uncomfortable or cause them to shun me!  No wonder I have felt crazy, depressed or both for so many years!

Why? Why have I done this?  I don’t know all the reasons….but this I do know….. I’m Done.  I’m taking back my own personal power, the power to choose who I want to be, and to respect who I am already. I’m choosing to love myself for who I am, and see myself thru God’s eyes. I ‘m choosing to not let others define who I am, my worth or my capabilities. I’m choosing to be more concerned with loving and accepting myself unconditionally and allowing God to work through me, not limiting myself or what He can do.  I no longer choose to be  limited by other people’s negative perceptions and opinions, and I no longer choose to believe the Lie that I am not good enough.

I believe that there is great power in realizing that a change just starts with a simple act of choosing.  I have been given the god given right and power to choose, we all have.  I believe that when I come to the God in Heaven and ask him to walk with me and to guide me and to show me who I am in his eyes and fill me with his unconditional love, He will.  I have come to understand that this is where my strength to do hard things and my ability to seperate myself from untrue beliefs and others false perceptions and judgements will come from, through Christ. When I choose God first, and I follow His voice and His counsel and I allow myself to see myself through His eyes, I am truly free.  Free to choose who I want to be, free from others definitions and opinions, free from shame, guilt and untruths. His love heals me and sets me free to be my best self.  I’m striving to reach higher, use my personal power to CHOOSE my actions and turning to God for strength to do these things.  I choose to believe that I AM GOOD ENOUGH! What are you choosing to believe today?

The Power of Being Selfless

I read a quote today by Wayne Dyer “Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.”

How much of our time and energy is spent and wasted on worrying? I’ve started to become very aware of a heavy dark feeling that has invaded me for some time.  Just recently I’ve realized it has simply been the energy of worrying .  I fret over details, people and events to which I have no control over.  My mind will continually play on and on with thoughts of doubt, fears and worries, unless I consciously stop and focus on the now.

Think about it….how much do we really have control over? And does worrying change or solve anything?  It absolutely does not!  It  is a complete waste of energy and time and it is a mind trap!  As I’ve become aware of this, I’ve been discovering ways to overcome and avoid the trap.  I know that there are many ways and many tools, and I would love to hear what you have discovered.  This is what I’ve learned so far:

1. Realize that the only person you have control over is you. Remember this and adjust your thought process and beliefs.

2. God is over all and when we invite Him, he will guide and direct the things we cannot see and that we do not have control over.  He will speak peace to our hearts and minds.   As we align our will with His will for us, and commit to be determined in serving Him, we can have confidence that he will help provide all that we need.

3. Reach higher! Strive to live in a way that our thoughts and energy are centered in serving and helping others, fulfilling our divine mission, and creating a better environment for ourselves and those around us.

When I have shifted my focus from me, me , me, to  asking “who can I help today? “,  great power and peace have entered and sustained me.  It is the power of selflessness and it’s so freeing! When I ask myself this question, it gets me out of my mind trap.  Then I start reaching into my heart and searching and I open up to God to guide me.  I begin to live from faith, love and peace instead of fear, worry and regret.  It is absolutely magical!

So…..Go create magic in your life!….. and leave the worries, fears and doubts at the Lord’s feet!

Come join us on the Facebook event page “PAY IT FORWARD  and join the many others who are creating this magic in their lives  and in others….https:// http://www.facebook.com/events/665361310181903/

What do you do to overcome worry, fear and doubt?  Please share.