Do you believe in Miracles?

flowerinhands

Have you ever been so afraid of something that you have fought tooth and toenail to not have to do anything to deal with it or step a foot in the direction of resolving it? I believe we all have something like that and I have come to realize that my fear is committing to relationships. Committing to caring, loving, being open and letting others care for me, I have been afraid of jumping in with both feet and giving something everything I’ve got.  I have not always been this way, I did this with dance as a youth and in other relationships when I was young, but not that way now.  I think its because I have been hurt, like we all have in close relationships, maybe its because I am afraid of failing, or getting in way above my head. Maybe it’s because I am afraid of losing myself and giving away my personal power, like I did in my marriage for 10 years.  So the thing I’m talking about is real for me right now, I have a choice of whether to jump in after 9 months of separation and try this marriage thing again to a changed man or go run the other direction and see what else is out there for me.  To some, it would seem so simple, cut and dry….I am not some people, I am me and those who know me know that most things are not simple and clear cut in my life.  The question that it has really come down to for me to day is this…”Do you really believe in the Lord’s power to heal and change hearts?  Do you really believe in the power of the Atonement?…you say you do and here is an opportunity to really show your children and those around you that you do, yet you are struggling, why is that?”

Why am i struggling?  I think the question is…Do I really believe?  This is what I have come to: I believe that we have challenges in our lives to test and solidify our belief in God and his power and his words…..and I believe this is a test for me.  A test to really prove and strengthen my resolve of what I truly believe.  I believe in the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I believe that when we really come to Him humbled and ready to give him our hearts and really ready to change, we are blessed with the strength to do so, through the Atonement. I do believe the more we come to Jesus, the stronger and purer we become.  I do believe we all have the capacity to become new in Jesus Christ. I have in many different ways, so why couldn’t my husband….and who am I to judge him or to cause a stumbling block for him in his humble journey and progression towards his godly self.  Doesn’t the Lord simply require a broken heart and a contrite spirit, a willingness to take upon us His name and keep coming to him so we can be changed through his love from the inside out?  I prayed for 9 months for this to happen for my husband….doesn’t God live and doesn’t he hear and answer prayers? Yes, yes He does, He did and I am a witness to that.

I feel that we need to be very careful with each other, we need to allow our loved ones to change and believe that when they make the effort to do so and invite their Savior to help them, they can do it.  We need to speak life in Jesus to each other.  We need to not only lift each other up, but we need to cheer each other on and not create stumbling blocks by holding others to their old ways.  Anyone and everyone can change when they come to Jesus and let the blood of His Atonement wash them clean.  When they let the all encompassing Love of the Savior touch them to the very core. When they are willing to give up all their sins to know the one and only true Son of God. How can one not be changed when touched to the very core with the all powerful and encompassing love of the Savior of the World? It can happen and does and I have been a witness of this in my own life and now as well as my husband’s……miracles happen to those who believe and I believe in miracles.

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Be Still

As I am preparing to uproot my family and move to another location, alone….I am coming to understand and appreciate more and more the counsel from God to “be still and know that I am God.” I woke up this morning feeling a great amount of anxiety because things were not working out the way I wanted and I felt that things were unraveling before me, that I was not going to get to where I wanted to go. The fighter in me began to rise up my thoughts began something like this, ” I will be moving this week come hell or high water, I don’t care what I have to do, this will happen!”  And my anxiety grew and I could not feel the spirit of the Lord with me, I hate that feeling! So I began to get still inside, quieting my thoughts and striving to connect back with my heart.  I began to speak to myself again “You are in the Lord’s hands, he will help you and watch over you. Maybe this is all happening for a reason. Let him guide you, go with the flow. ”

It has been a year now since I wrote this and on that day, I did move forward, my children and I, with my cousins help, moved 2 hours away and started our new life.  It has been a journey of learning and I have been a witness of many miracles. God sustained us and opened doors that day, just as He has every day since.  He has sent people at needed times and Angels to uplift, sustain and edify me and my family.  He has blessed us with money out of  no where and opportunities for more. To this day, I continue to learn that God speaks to us in many different ways, but the most powerful way is when He speaks directly to our hearts in a way that we must be still to hear and know.

I’ve come to understand that being still means that I quiet my mind, I stop thinking and I just quiet everything in my body and feel.  When I do this, it’s when I can feel Him so near and in a quiet but powerful way He speaks right to my heart.  I have noticed that knowing this has given me so much strength and direction in the mist of confusion.  I know that if I can get quiet and look into my heart, He will be there and I know it is Him because only He can speak to the heart, my spirit. His still small voice, cuts through the loud confusion and fear and anxiety quickly. His voice is gentle, direct and  brings peace and a feeling of overall well being.

“Being still”  means that we don’t react to the voices of fear and doubt and negativity that surround us and bombard our minds on a consistent basis.  God knows when we get still, we are putting ourselves in a place of hearing and receiving, its when we can receive clearly and then move forward with power. Getting still requires us to use our agency in a powerful way in the midst of confusion, confusion is of the devil, he wants us to get caught up in reacting.  When we react to fear and anxiety, we give Satan power over us, but when we make the choice to get still in the midst of confusion, we are taking a very powerful stand for ourselves and God.  We are disengaging from the confusion that is of Satan, we are saying “I see you Satan, I know what this is and I am not going to participate and you cannot have power over me.”   When we choose to get still and seek God, we are showing forth true power and inviting God’s power to carry us forward and through.   So when you and I begin to feel worry, doubt, fear and anxiety….we need to recognize it for what it is, and then get still, look for God, invite Him into our hearts and receive what He has to give.  God truly lives, is over all and offers His love and peace always in every moment. We  just need to “be still and know that he IS God.”bestill