Today is my Birthday

Today is my birthday and so I feel inspired to write what is truly on my heart. I feel the freedom to express whatever I would like as a gift to myself. An inner reflection on paper….those who know me well, know this is my favorite past time. Although I have been silent for some time, my heart is always yearning to write, to express the deep love I have for life, for the many people in my life and most of all for the that one true friend, who is always there for me and has brought me through all things….Jesus.

I’m so grateful to say that my life has not been easy, I have been given many gifts, wrapped in the label of “challenges”. For my challenges, I am grateful, as they have been my opportunities to grow and to know the power of Christ’s love in my life. I love to grow and I see the gift in growing and so I am grateful for my challenges. I am grateful to know that I have a personal friend and Savior, who loves me beyond comprehension and who takes the time to express that love clearly, especially in the moments of my deepest self loathing. Only He knows what to say to me when I find myself lost in the darkness of shame, guilt, grief and disappointment. It is because of His constant care that I am filled with love and have been able to come through so much trauma in my life. I have received complete healing because of Him.

I am grateful for my children, the children, who’s little spirits I saw when going through one of my most darkest times as a teen. My children who whispered to me that they were mine, that I was on the right path and to keep going. And now, who grace my home with their presence and continually challenge me to stay on board with love and patience and kindness.

I am grateful for a husband, who is always challenging me to stay in a space of love and calm. Who goes above and beyond to show loyalty and love in the most adverse circumstances. Who’s presence continually challenges me to love and not judge, accept and not criticize. Thank you.

My life is a gift and I know this because there are so many times that I wanted to take it and have been saved by angels of heaven and earth. So I am grateful for my life, I have been given the opportunity to be able to help people heal in ways that I couldn’t even imagine. To partner with heaven to understand the hearts and souls of many and to assist them in uncovering truth in their own lives and healing from the past. I am grateful that I get to continue this work on an even bigger scale and to see my life dream of creating a healing center coming to fruition.

I am grateful for opposition, for the Advesary, who does His job which allows God’s mighty power to be shown in even greater capacity.

I am grateful to be a woman and have the versatility of being soft and kind, yet strong and powerful. I love my body and this has not always been the case, given I was sexually abused and raped at young ages and rejected my body and self for so many years. I love who I am, I am grateful for the beautiful body God gave me to be able to feel and experience this life to the fullest. To be able to touch and nurture others with love and healing and receive that in return. I love that I am in tune with my body now and that I can hear it when it speaks to me and that I want to hear what it has to say and have a desire to take care of it as the precious gift it is.

I am grateful for my restored health. For a simple solution that God brought into my life that changed my course very quickly and has allowed me to help others in ways that I could not imagine.

I am blessed to know so many amazing people who have blessed my life in countless ways. It is the people in my life that make it so beautiful. I love getting to meet new people, getting to connect on different levels. It is in the connecting with others, even to the soul, that brings me the greatest joy and fulfillment. Thank you to many for allowing me to be a part of your lives, for opening up your soul to me and for allowing me to be an instrument in ministering to you in the ways that you need.

I am grateful for Angels. Thank you my Angels for being by my side always, lifting and guiding, inspiring and speaking.

I am thankful for this day, for the opportunity to reflect on my life, to reconnect with friends and loved ones and to have another year to love, learn and serve. To those who are reading this, thank you for being a witness to those blessings.

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The Gift of Life

After watching my children open their presents and sitting for a moment to ponder, my heart was touched deeply with the love for mankind. I realize what a privilege and a gift it is to be a part of others lives and to have others be a part of mine, no matter what role they play. I feel that sometimes we do not really realize the significance of each person we have the privilege of meeting and engaging with, negative or positive. Each person has godliness in them, a spark of the divine and so in this we are so blessed to have contact with one another, to have the ability to love and serve God by connecting with each other. I believe we get lost in the negative too much, we get lost in the fear of being judged and in the trap of judging, we hold on to past grudges and we don’t allow ourselves and others around us to change. May I propose that this is the time to let go, let the past be in the past and let whatever has happened to you in your life become a gift to propel you forward with grace and beauty and hope into the future.

In my work, I assist so many to release wounds from the past, deep ones, that have kept them stuck in a cycle of fear, hate, self loathing, abuse, addiction and disease. We talk about how these experiences can truly become gifts because they are what give us the opportunity to learn to overcome, to choose to love, to forgive, to change something dark into Light. The truth is that every part of our lives, every experience is truly a gift, if we will let it be, because of the Atonement of Christ. The gift being that because of the Atonement, the challenges truly are an opportunity to choose whether we want to rise up within ourselves and become strong, loving, forgiving, courageous beings or whether we want to be beaten down victims full of bitterness and self loathing. It is in the experience, the challenge, that the choice is presented, the opportunity is given, the growth comes. The power of the Atonement, pure love, sets us free to learn and to not carry the weight of the experience for longer than is needed. If we could see our lives through God’s eyes, we would realize it is all just a journey to Him, it is all about growth and that it is a blessing if we will let it be….that what happens to us, simply does not change our worth in His eyes. That we are always precious to Him and He wants nothing more for us than to grow into the strong powerful beings that He designed us to be, He understands that for us to do this we must use our agency and so in this, there must be opposition. If we make a shift in our paradigm, the way we see life, the way we see people in our lives, the way we see our experiences…. if we shift to seeing them as gifts for healing, growing, learning and loving, then the way we feel inside will shift.

God made us to be free in our hearts and minds, to be happy and joyful. He provided His Son as a sacrifice so that as we make changes and as we come to Him to do this, we can and will be healed and will move forward in the light and truth of who we really are and what this life is really about. This life is truly a gift, every day is a gift, every experience, every person we have the privilege of coming in contact with. Each experience presents us with the opportunity to choose and to love and to overcome and to serve. Look for the light in each situation….look for the gift, it is there.

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Reaching Out

Some of us, when we go thru challenging experiences, pull inward and shut everyone out, and some of us reach out and let others in to help.  I am one who tends to pull in and shut others out because I feel such shame for feelings of anger, hurt, hopelessness. I feel shame if I am not handling the challenge with positiveness and forgiveness and if I am not able to function normally from day to day. I feel guilty if I feel the need to heavily rely on others and for the inability to hold it together at times. but I realize I also feel so unloveable and unworthy of love, feelings that are rooted from my experiences as a child, especially those of sexual abuse and actions that extended from those. It is thru the recent experience of going through a difficult seperation in my marriage  that I realize the healing is in not bearing the burden alone, the healing is in asking others to bear it with you, to help you carry the load, to allow their love to sustain you. I have come to realize that love in all it’s many forms and actions is where the power to move forward comes, because in love, their is healing and when we begin to heal we become more powerful in being able to love others unconditionally.

As I was crying out to God the other night and asking him to help me through the pain and release the fear and pain from every part of my body, I realize so much of the pain came from me believing that I was not loveable, not worthy of love. I realize it is the reason why I was shutting people out and why I was beginning to feel so hopeless and lost. I realized I have been punishing myself  for parts of the painful process of this seperation, I have not been allowing God’s love to heal me, nor allowing his love thru others to sustain and uphold me. When I woke up this morning, I felt a deep longing to be around friends and loved ones to be a part of something.

It is thru the giving and receiving of love that we heal.  It is pure love that empowers us to overcome our fears. And it is the fear of not being loved, of being rejected that we hide.  I realize part of my learning right now, part of my uphill climb is to allow love back into my life, to open myself up for love, to release and give to God the old untrue beliefs that I am not loveable, to push against that, to challenge that very thought and to accept the fact that not only am I loveable in my worst of times but that I am WORTHY of LOVE. So today, I am going to reach out and make that phone call to my friend and my sister, I’m going to focus on  loving and enjoying my children, and allowing myself to love and be loved in return.  And thank God for another day to learn and love and overcome.

 

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The Power of Love

I believe that most of us have witnessed the power of God’s love in our life, I know of no other way it is manifest more strongly than in the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ.  I have spent many weeks pondering on this great act of love and service on our behalf, and have spent days and nights on my knees asking for the power in the Atonement to help me daily overcome my weaknesses. I have been impressed with thoughts and idea’s that have changed the way I go about doing things.

This what I have come to understand so far:

When Christ’s Atonement was made it opened up a portal, a way for us to access the powers of heaven to assist us on our earthly life journey.  Because Christ, willingly turned his life over to be crucified, out of love for us, when we align ourselves with him, by obedience to his commandments, we have access to that same power that enabled him to endure and overcome…God’s infinite and eternal love.  The power in the atonement is pure love. We become at one with light, truth, spirit and power when we access Christ’s love to cleanse us and guide us and set us free. The act of the atonement allows us access to that love and power and God’s knowledge, through the Savior. We literally get to be yoked, or have companionship with Christ because of the atonement and we become able to have heaven’s divine help.  The Atonement is love in it’s purest form; the power of the atonement is God’s power, which is Love.

LOVE is Power.  LOVE is SPIRIT.  Love Heals all.

How do you access and use the power of the Atonement in your life?